


The Tricks of the Prick

by Look_Left



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Prompt Fill, Stick is a dick, Stick is old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 02:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5317808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Look_Left/pseuds/Look_Left
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt finds a drunk Stick in his apartment. Stick offers him advice on the dangers of women (and men).  Matt would have preferred an ass kicking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tricks of the Prick

**Author's Note:**

> From this prompt: http://daredevilkink.dreamwidth.org/6237.html?thread=11608669#cmt11608669

Matt looked on warily. Stick wasn't attacking. In fact he seemed relaxed, he sensed more than one bottle near Stick's feet. Beer. 

"Sometimes I think you don't think I care about you, Matt. I do, maybe not the way you want. I mean I understand you want connections but it makes you weak."

"Foggy is my best friend. He's my family." Stick took a sip from one of the bottles and threw one to Matt. Matt caught it and opened it. He drank it slowly, ready to attack if necessarily. 

"You're doing better than before. I've heard of your success but don't let it get to your head."

"Is that why you're here? To shit on my work?"

"Last time I was here. I could smell perfume in the air. You have more than one now. Just remember, women are distractions." 

"Well you don't have to worry about that. I'm not exactly having s-"

"*MEN* are the worst. You think after a life time of fucking women you're straight, the next thing you know you've just fucked your mark into the mattress and on the balcony without getting the information you needed."

"What?" Matt spat the beer he was drinking. Stick didn't seem to notice and just continued. 

"Sure you didn't mean to seduce him but after a few weeks of winning his confidence it just-"

"Oh my God."

"Yeah when you were supposed to be delivering you were feeling the firm -"

"No! I don't need to hear this!"

"limber-"

"Stop!"

"-really flexible. If you have a chance to fuck his son if he's anything like his father."

"What?!"

"Oh. I didn't mention it? I fucked Howard Stark. It messed up a mission. It got three of our associates killed and I was demoted in rank. See, Matty, I'm looking out for your best interests."

"I-I'm straight."

"Sure you are, that's why you're all buddy-buddy with your 'partner." He sneered the word.

"No. Foggy and I - no"

"Which is why I recommend fucking Tony Stark if you get the chance." He stood. Matt's brain felt like it was rebooting. Stick patted him on the back awkwardly, shuffled for his cane and disappeared out into New York. 

When it rebooted Matt called Foggy. "Matt?"

"Foggy. This was really awkward. Stick was in my apartment. He was drinking my beer. He was giving me adivce and he *wasn't* a dick about it."

"Okay. That's good."

"He also just told me he fucked Howard Stark and that I should really have sex with his son if I get a chance."

"That's not normal?"

"No! I'm traumatized. I want to clean my ears with bleach."

"At least he didn't beat the shit out of you?"

"Foggy you don't get it. It's gah! The beating is preferable to this. My ears!"

"Okay. I'll- wait, *Howard* Stark? Just how old is your -Stick?"

"I don't know. He's just old."

"Really old apparently. Heh, do you think Stick is his real name or just another phallic-"

"No! I don't need to think about things like! Good bye Foggy!"

Matt began to clean up and felt on his fridge a note, punched with his stylus:

Your beer still sucks - S. 

Matt decided Daredeviling was out for the night. He was going to sleep and forgetting all about this.


End file.
